Nothing Is Something Worth Doing

If a person can be in love with a song,
then I'm in love with this one right now.
I hear it in my head all the time.
It feels like electricity is running through my body
& I can't stop smiling.

Pins & Needles

FINALLY!

I've got The Birthday Massacre's new album Pins and Needles.
And I love it. LOVE it.

I'll probably be lost in this album for a while now.

Hang With Me

Will you tell me once again
How we're gonna be just friends?
If you're for real and not pretend
Then I guess you can hang with me

When my patience wearing thin
When I'm ready to give in
Will you pick me up again?
Then I guess you can hang with me

And if you do me right
I'm gonna do right by you
And if you keep it tight
I'm gonna confide in you
I know what's on your mind
There will be time for that too
If you hang with me

Just don't fall
Recklessly, headlessly in love with me
Cause it's gonna be
All heartbreak
Blissfully painful and insanity
If we agree
Oh, you can hang with me

When you see me drift astray
Outta touch and outta place
Will you tell me to my face?
Then I guess you can hang with me

And if you do me right
I'm gonna do right by you
And if you keep it tight
I'm gonna confide in you
I know what's on your mind
There will be time for that too
If you hang with me

Just don't fall
Recklessly, headlessly in love with me
Cause it's gonna be
All heartbreak
Blissfully painful and insanity
If we agree
Oh, you can hang with me

Love is Weird

So, this love thing.
What about it?

People often ask me why I don't have a partner.
I often answer that I choose not to have one.
When people ask me that I feel like a freak.
Like.. it's so goddamn easy for people to fall and be in love. But not for me.
And like the fucking purpose of life is to have a partner. Bullshit!
I'd rather be alone/sex-crazed whore my whole life than being with someone just
for the sake of it. I get anxiety just thinking about it, the walls close in on me.
I don't understand people who stay in relationships with someone they're not in love with,
or even miserable with - just because it's 'comfortble'.
And another thing, these fucking rules we make up, like we own eachother?
'You can't do this and that'. 'You can't look at another man 'cause then you don't love me'.
BULLSHIT.

I seemingly can't be in love unless it's destructive in some way.
Does this mean that I don't like myself?
Does it mean that I'm a sadistic freak?
Does it mean that I'm afraid of letting anyone in?
Is it because of my growing-up-experienses?
Or is it simply because I am too passionate, too complicated, too sensitive?
Or maybe it doesn't mean anything. Maybe this is just the way the cookie crumbles.

Or is it that when we fall in love, we're just falling in love with ourselves?
Do I only fall in love with emotionally fucktards because I am one myself,
and that's why it always ends up being a mess?
I sometimes wonder just how many hearts I've broken. It's not a pleasant thought.
Maybe it's karma coming my way?

I have what they call 'relationship-phobia'.
For a girl like me it's easier to obsess over someone who is unavailable.
Any man who feels available is someone to run away from, or push away.
This is one of the effects of emotional incest.

"Codependence is a disease which involves the being's emotional defense system being
dysfunctional to the extent that it breaks our hearts and destroys our ability to Love and be Loved,
wounds our souls by denying us access to our Spiritual Self, and scrambles our minds so thoroughly
that it causes our minds to become our own worst enemies."


Fuck it.
I'm going to create,
for my heart to mend.
I'm going to paint,
my heartbreak away.
I'm cutting my fingers with silver glitter,
bleeding my pain away.
And I'm gonna sprinkle all of my heart, all of my heart,
on my art.

Love is just.. weird.

Forest Star photos

I'm sorry about the REALLY bad quality, I took all the pics with my phone.

And these photos below are (obviously) not mine!
This great photographer took lots of beautiful pictures.


photo: Pierre E


photo: Pierre E


photo: Pierre E


photo: Pierre E


photo: Pierre E

I get goosebumps everytime I look at the photos.
Aaaah. So pretty.

Silver

There's something magical about stuff that you've designed and made yourself.
I finished my first silver rings today (started yesterday).
This was our first task, and I'm very pleased with the result.

free bitch

glitter

Again and Again

Was it all in real time or was it just in my mind?
Was I just a ghost passing through you
Clinging to the wreckage, till I got the message?
Hanging at the edge of the room

Give me something that's real
Give me half of your bitterest pill
Something from under the surface you actually feel

We say these words again and again
But they still sound the same
It was in your eyes, in your eyes
They were just easy lies

The little words are heavy and promises are easy
And no one's ever happy or sad for very long
Well just because I said it, it doesn't mean I meant it
I guess that was the way all along

I'm just shaping the sound
I'm just turning the syllables round
Dipping my toe in the water and watching you drown

We say these words again and again
But they still sound the same
It was in my eyes, in my eyes
They were just easy lies

And we've been a long time waiting
And it's been a lifetime in the making

We said "When you are alone and afraid
I will come to your aid"
Well was it just a dream, just a dream?
Because it was real to me

We say these words again and again
But they still sound the same
We say these words again and again
And again and again

Forest Star ~｡ﾟ☆

I can't really even begin to explain how goddamn wonderful this weekend was.

This girl owns some land in the forest, so she + crew arranged Forest Star, a psy-trance mini-festival in 'the middle of nowhere'.
I was honestly blown away at how pretty the arrangers had decorated the WHOLE area.
There was two stages, a small 'chillout'-area and the big stage.
There was UV-lights everywhere, and lasers twinkeling in all of the colours of the rainbow.
There was indian-tents, a blueberry-stand where you could buy all sorts of blueberry stuff,
a huuuuge fire and ofcourse the people and the MUSIC.

I never wanted it to end.

(Pictures are coming!)

My School: The beautiful Castle of Art

Iiih, silly butterflies in my tummy
It's been a magical and lovely first week in my new school.
There's art all day - every day in my schedule. So happy I could die.
And Helliden's boarding school is just SO beautiful.
I call it 'The Castle of Art', hihi.

My classmates and the teachers all seem awesome, too.
All the classes aren't settled just yet though, next week we're all going to choose
one art-subject that we're going to have once a week.
The subject that I'm primarily going to study is silver forging, which I'll be doing three days a week. One day a week well have drawing & photo lessons,
and then one day a week that free-choise-art-subject.
I'm thinking about choosing textile and sewing ^-^

Oh, and September 12-16 the 'silver-class' are going on a schooltrip to Denmark.
We're going to see Andy Warhol's Art Exhibition, have photolessons,
see and visit lots of artsy places. omg, CAN'T WAIT!


Here's some pictures of the School/Castle.
I took these from google, but I'm going to snap a few pics of my own later.
(these pictures really doesn't do the beauty of the school-area justice):